Hello all. Checking in again. I’m not sure why blogging and checking my blog always seems like such a daunting task. I love reading all my posts from everyone, but I can never seem to find the time to log in.
What’s going on in my world? Well.. I ran my 7th half marathon on Sunday 9/23. I was nervous about this race, and it turns out, it was for good reason. My personal worst race. It was even worse than my very first half marathon. I’m kind of bummed that all my races seem to be taking a downturn instead of improving.. what’s happening? Literally.. my times go like this:
1st– 2:37
2nd – 2:27
3rd – 2:20
4th– 2:18
5th– 2:15 (PR)
6th– 2:28 (ouch!!)
7th– 2:46 (BIGGER OUCH!)
This course was described as “rolling hills” but it was more like “tortuous steep breath sucking small mountains” I literally couldn’t catch my breath before the next hill came again. I was walking by mile 2, which really upset me. I’m really big for trying not to walk AT ALL during a race. In my mind it means I’m failing. I’m not actually running. There were some hills that hurt bad just to WALK up. I have no idea how anyone ran up them. The sucky thing about this race was it was just two loops. So the horrible hills you ran the first time, you ran again. I think I even shed a few “I’m in pain, what the hell was I thinking?” tears. It was so frustrating. The weather was gorgeous, but my lack of training made this my most miserable race to date. Ugh. Trying to pick my head up and aim on my next two races 10/13 and 10/21. I can’t possibly do this bad again, right??
Eating Paleo is going well. Everyone has something to say about it, but I’m doing what works for me. I’m cooking more now than I ever have. I hope to stick to it forever if possible!
I’m almost 4 months sober. I seem to be struggling more and more the longer time goes, but I know I won’t give in. I’m doing my best to take it day by day, but I’m still romanticizing my relationship with alcohol. I had fun! I laughed! And I had friends. Now, I hardly do anything. Still I have to think back to the times that brought me to the decision of KNOWING I had to quit drinking. Like blacking out in the middle of the afternoon about a year about when I moved into my apartment. Went down to the bar (about 100 yds from my house) and drank a bunch of beer on an empty stomach.. I woke up later thinking it was like 9pm only to be mind blown that it was almost 5am! I lost about 8 hours of time. I have no idea what happened, what I said, how I walked back ( I was with my boyfriend at the time, so I wasn’t alone) or if I even paid my tab! These moments are the scary, raw things that most people that drink “normally” don’t experience. Drinking stops becoming fun when every time you drink, you don’t remember anything. If you are blacking out every single time you drink, it’s time to stop. I have no doubt in my mind that if I kept drinking (or resume drinking) I’ll be a full blown alcoholic. That’s what will pop into my mind when I think I want to have “just one drink” sometime. I can’t DO IT. I just can’t.
One Girls Journey For a Better Life... 
some long runs (and some races) just suck. you may need to be kinder to yourself 😉 I have always done the 10-minute run, 1-minute walk, and so i look forward to my long runs and i enjoy the 1 minute walk so i can take a breath and enjoy the view. i’ve found i have better times with walk/run than with straight run, but that’s just me, i’m a very very slow runner…
you paint a vivid picture of blacking out and losing time. it sounds completely grim. it’s like that video tape we were talking about, where you play the tape from the first drink to its likely conclusion. and then you turn your head and eat some … cow (well, in your case it’d be cow, instead of cake). hugs from me.
Thank you Belle! =)
Uh – it could be your “paleo” diet. You need immediately-available fuel to run an endurance race like a half marathon: that means carbohydrates. Whole grains beforehand, simple sugars during the long run. Slow-burning protein and fat and not enough carbs in your diet could make you “bonk” and feel sluggish in endurance events.
Congrats on 4 months sober! That’s a huge accomplishment.
Yes! I have probably stated in earlier posts that I knew this race wouldn’t go well because of starting to eat whole/unprocessed foods. This blog is about several things, and one of them is that I have Celiac Disease, so I can’t eat whole grains. I did stock on on plenty of carbs before my race through eating sweet potatoes and other fruits/veggies that contain them. I also had supplies with me (like dates) during my race. This was my 7th half marathon, so i’m not exactly a moron when it comes to fueling for a race. I follow the Paleo blueprint beause I already have a lot of food allergies. I know several other runners who are Paleo and have no problems running endurance races =) I had just started eating this way about a week before my race, so my body is still learning to burn fat as energy instead of carbs/sugar.
and thanks! I’m proud to be sober.
Did you have time to train and prepare for this one? 2:45 is still a good time, especially if you weren’t totally ready for it…. Not many folks can get out there and run or walk 13 miles- you can and you did. That’s something to really be proud of!
Thank you!! I have been training for my race on 10/13… this was supposed to be a practice but I had only gotten up to 6 miles, so I suppose it wasn’t terrible.
Unless you run the same course every time, it’s unfair to compare with earlier times. Sounds like it was a tough course. I’m impressed by anyone who runs a half marathon. That’s a lot of miles! I know that feeling of discouragement with a race, but there are so many variables and you did great. And yeah, also know that romanticizing of drinking compared with the reality of what it was like. Fortunately those wistful periods are far and few between and pass quick enough. Later I wonder “what was I thinking?” Maybe those episodes teach us something. They suck though.
Thank you!